Trashing my 940 estate and taking the scrappage incentive simply doesn't add up. I'd have to buy a new car and it would have to be big enough to cart at least 20 bags of peat-free compost from the local B&Q or a load of camping gear and a few bikes. About the cheapest cars you can buy on the £2,000 voucher are the Hyundai i10 at £7,000 and the £6,195 Kia Picanto. But they're out of the question – too small and lacking the tank-like build of my Volvo.

A new Volvo equivalent to mine has a sticker price of £25,400. The scrappage scheme rules say you have to buy a new car, not "nearly new" or with "delivery mileage", so the usual discounts for canny buyers are not available. Even one reduced to £23,400 after the scrappage deal would clean out my bank balance many times over.

I could go for a cheaper make but I'm still looking at big money. In any case, my colleague Miles Brignall tells me car makers have been quietly pushing up prices by between £750 and £1,500 in expectation of the scheme. So the trade's £1,000 is covered by higher prices, while the government will get its £1,000 back (and more) in VAT on the new car. It's a fair bet dealers will see me coming with my voucher. So I won't get a bargain.