. What we have here is a dismal germanic car with its engine in the wrong place and a list of built-in faults so long it could fill every page in this book... It's slow, it's noisy, it's uncomfortable and it has such a completely pathetic heater that on cold days you are better off setting fire to your hair. The Beetle doesn't make you cool and alternative at all - it simply marks you out as the kind of mush-brained tit who knows nothing about cars and gives names to inanimate objects.