This one will surely belong to the best and most popular auctions in the last time:
http://cgi.ebay.de/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=230284482027
A home- and hand-made translation. Hopefully you'll understand it.
I'm offering my old orignal Ferrari-key incl key-holder of a Ferrari 360 Modena, which my stupid ex-wife has crashed.
In 2005 my Ole' ("Olle" is a bad name for a woman, but not as bad as "bitch") has turned my Ferrari (I've worked hard for it) in a 30-km/h-zone and has smashed it against a house-wall. Respect! The car was an economical total-lost (value 120.000 €). At least in that moment I should have recognized, that my wife was scrap, too!
The car a full insurance, but my wife had 0.7 promille (at 2 p.m.!) so the insurance had denied to pay the damage. My lawyer told me, that I better avoid a court-house fight against the insurance. Later on the supported me to make the divorce.
Back zu Stuttgart. We lived in Nordrhein-Westfalen (the auction-place is Solingen), so I wanted to know from her, what she had done in Stuttgart. "A surprise for you", she had answered. And what a surprise! Surely she had a lover in Stuttgart and had drunk nicely champaigne and sparkling wine with him.
In the 4 years of our marriage she had cost me roundabout 800.000 Euro incl. the Ferrari. The divorce isn't included.
Here list, not complete and partly estimated:
- shoes: 50.000 €
- clothes: 200.000 €
- Ferrari 185.000 € (new price)
- insurance: 12.000 €
- fuel: 30.000 €
- jewlery: 200.000 €
- furniture etc.: 250.000 €
- hairdresser, wellness and this hole shit: 30.000 €
- beauty-OP's (a lot of them were neccessary!): 70.000 €
So thanks, Barbara, I've liked to do it! So last month the divorce-decree was spoken, so I had to pay much more money. She said, I had big profits, too, from our marriage, for example annother tax-class.
For sure, Barbara.
Now I'm selling this orignal Ferrari-key, which I wanted to hold as a memory before. But why should I remember such an unbelievable stupid wife? So after my wife I'll give away the second shitrty thing in my life.
So anyone, who is interested to have an original Ferrari-key at his key-holder, shall bid for it. From the money I got for it, perhaps I'll fund a club for fighting against stupid spouses or so... To all women libber's: I don't have the opinion, that all women are bad. Not all. But my one definetely.
The key makes a good show in the public. Often you'll be contacted by nice ladies. But you should'nt have a Smart-key at the holder, too. Or go into a disco with bicycle-clothes.
O.k., if there are some questions, write to me. But the eBay-account is from a friend. He must contact me, so the answer can take a time.
Now the bidder's questions and the answers:
"Respect. Such a wonam I had also thown out. Wouldn't a disposal been cheaper, a fall from a high cliff or so?"
"I don't know, who In should have asked"
(the next text I've put down. Ingo)
"Is it possible to get with the key, also socks of you wife?"
"Yes, for sure. You can have the complete wife, too. But I think, you've suspicious minds (no worry)
I remember a story of my schoool-time. The sister of a mate was a real cutie (we've been ca.14/15 years old). Annother mate wanted to have a used pantie of her. The brother has sold one for 20 D-Mark. Four weeks lter he told him, that the pantie was from his 60-year-old mother.
Much fun with the socks of my ex-wife!"
"My true condolations!" I'll bit for it. But wouldn't have it been better, if you hadn't spend so much money for purchasable beauty, and have better took care about characterial things? This could have saved money.
"Sure. But as George Best has said: "I've spend my money for alcohol, cars and women. The rest I've just squandered."
"Is it possible to see a pic of your ex?"
"No, due juristical reasons. Just remind a cute blond lady, which has spend around 70.000 € at a beauty-chirurg. At least a supersized Barbie-doll."
The next question is something juristic about the insurance-law.
"Is you given name Kevin and your family-name starts with "K", too? If yes, I don't show pity for you."
"No, I'm able to speak the "S". I'm thankful, that you don't pity me."
"I'm more interested in you than in your key. Lovely greetings, Carolin"
"Dear Carolin, I'm happy, that you are interested in me. Please send me your email-address and I'll contact you. Please prepare some photos of you, especially some where you are wearing a wet, white bikini."
"Oh man, your behaviour to "Carolin" shows, that you haven't learned anything new! "Carolin" is surely worse than your ex! She just have added the money for your ex and is thinking, that more ist still existing."
"*yawn*"
"Hi. Respect fo the great text! Was your wife blond and came from Gelsenkirchen?"
"Hi. Thanks for the compliments. Blond yes, Gelsenkirchen no."
"Hallo! RESPEKT for the most exorbitant text, I've ever read! Is the transponder included?"
"No, the transponder-key was sold with the car. It's a mechanical extra-key."
