This off topic thread is for funny sayings, quotes or jokes you may have heard at any point in time.

I went to a New Years Eve party once here in Wilmington. They had novelty party items including party hats with text on them.

One hat said:

"I fart in the bathtub, and then I eat the bubbles"

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or, by imbeciles who really mean it" - Mark Twain

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather, so It moved to Finland.
Now Santa Claus is missing.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have the film.

Since when does Santa Claus live in Finland?

I do not know (I typed it in same fashion as I read it) ask the person who made the joke.

Everyone know that Santa lives in Rovaniemi.

Seen on the back of a huge articulated truck on the Autobahn near Munich:
“Hier arbeiten 460 Pferde und 1 Esel” (Working here are 460 horses and one donkey).

I just remembered a good car related one from a few years ago, "GM is a healthcare provider that makes vehicles on the side"